So I did it. I caved into what I thought I would never do and that is blog....
I have to vent, most people need to vent and sometimes I don't want to vent to my husband or girlfriends although they are the most amazing people, I just need to vent...to no one and yet hope someone out there in this world can see and understand, and agree or disagree with my vent.
I am venting today about my wonderful children. My eldest girl is almost 10---wow double digits and yet acts like my other youngest daughter who is almost 5. Then there is the boy...my beautiful, sweet and yes sometimes annoying boy who is almost 8.
Today while playing ball hockey my older daughter Caitlin decided that she was gonna slap shot her brother in the shine...why? "Just cause". I explain to her the danger and hurt that this can cause. I tell her in a reasonable voice not to do it again, and I get "whatever" and a stomp. People i got a stomp....wtf! You will learn to appreciate my language in the future. I sent her to her room because my hands where now in fists....and then the wheels in my head begin to turn. What have I done wrong. What did I do as Mom, I talk to her in a tone-ie voice and that is why she talks like that. Am I all alone???
My husband is a wonderful man. He is now downstairs with the kids feeding them leftovers while I sit in my room, door locked, tears streaming down my face. This is just such a small detail why am I upset you ask. It is because this is only a tiny snippet of a very long day.
Children, running a home, a daycare, a marriage, and somewhere a life for me....it is overwhelming most days.
Time to slap back on the face, who must know that one I am talking about, who know the one that says I am normal, I love you unconditionally, I am happy, I am at peace.....when really the true face wants to scream in its loudest voice.....help me I am slowly drowning!!
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